The story behind ‘Chains’ is basically that feeling that all people can relate to, its being trapped. For me specifically in this song, I connected to love and trust and for some people they have said its broader for them, its more than love, it can be about anything that entangles you in your life and doesn’t let you do what you need to do to feel free.
You can love someone so much. But you can never love people as much as you can miss them.
Q:Hey there! My best friend has trich, and I'm just wondering what would be the best way for me to help her? She told me 3/4 of a year ago and I've acted normal, but a bit more gracious on her bad days. Is there anything more I can do?
I hope you don’t mind, but I’m gonna post this so everyone can read it, cuz I think it’ll be helpful for a lot of people!!
When dealing with people with trich, treat them like people. That’s it. (I know that sounds like… idk, whatever… you know what I mean, right?) I do a lot of activities with people with and without disabilities that work towards inclusion, acceptance, etc. and one of the big things we have is “people first.” It means you see the person before you see the disability. Focus on abilities, special qualities and personalities first. That’s true with everything. See a person as a person, not their diagnosis. (“You are not your diagnosis.” is one of my favorite sayings…)
Okay, now that we’ve got that out of the way, here are some tips for dealing with trich…
- Think about what you say. Ex. do not say “that was so stressful, it made me want to pull my hair out!” or make comments like that because it can really make people with trich uncomfortable. No one expects you to be perfect, so it’s ok if you make mistakes, but make sure you think about how you speak and make sure it’s respectful.
- Be kind and open… ttm is hard for a lot of people to talk about, so be respectful of what your friend wants to and doesn’t want to share with you. Just the fact that she told you shows that she thinks of you as someone she can trust, so show her that she can trust you to be there for her.
- Know limits. Hers and yours. If she is dealing with something and you don’t feel comfortable with it, tell her. Be there for her when she needs you, but make sure that if things get too intense, you both have other options (offer to go with her to talk to somebody, help her find an adult to talk to…). I know personally that some people have told me things that I can’t handle about their mental health and it can cause the listener a lot of stress, too. Part of helping her is knowing what you can and can’t handle.
- Trich is tough to deal with in a society that tells you long hair is what makes you beautiful, makes you a girl. Don’t fall into that. Make sure she knows that her lack of hair doesn’t affect how beautiful you think she is (inside and out!).
- Talk to her about what support she needs from you… maybe a shoulder to cry on when things get tough, someone to remind her when she subconsciously reaches up to pull, or someone to step in when others ask uncomfortable questions. But don’t assume you know what she wants. Everyone with trich feels differently about it… for example, I don’t want people to tell me “hey, you’re pulling cut it out.” but other people might. Have an open discussion about it.
Ok, I know that was a lot, but I hope it helped!
Let me know how everything goes and please ask any questions you may have!! And if she wants to talk, too I’d be happy to talk with her! Best wishes to you both! Hope all is well! <3
This made me cry a lil bit. i love it. thank you for posting this
I hope in a good way XD … i’m glad you liked it :)
oh… umm… hi ^.^
In the book of James, the Bible tells us that we should wait for God’s promises like a farmer waits for his harvest. Now, I’ve never seen a farmer plant a crop and then worry night and day about whether or not it’s going to come up. He doesn’t lose sleep thinking, “Oh, I hope that my corn is going to take root. Please, God, let my corn bring a harvest.” No, he waits with confidence, knowing that the harvest will come. He does his part, and he knows that seed will produce a good crop.
In the same way, we should wait confidently for the promises of God. We have to stand firm on His Word. It’s not enough to just hope that your situation is going to turn around. Instead of the attitude, “I hope I get well,” have the attitude of confidence and say, “Thank You, Lord, that I am getting well.” Start waiting like the farmer. Wait with a knowing. Wait with confidence. Be sure that as you put God’s Word into practice, just like the farmer, you will see that harvest of blessing in your own life in return.